“ The First Few Months” “Now What?” July 2015 Post 1
“Now What?” The sudden, unexpected and shocking death of our son, Russell, daughter-in-law, Shawna, granddaughter, Tylee, and grandson, Blake, was like an amputation of a huge part of my heart; even a part of who I am. Grief disrupts so many aspects of life. One early morning, I went out to our patio and thought of my loved ones. I pictured each one of them. I recalled the sound of their laughter and voices. I remembered their facial expressions and smiles. I reminisced about trips we took together, special events we did around the holidays and birthdays. I suddenly became so...
Read More“ The First Few Months Now What?” July 2015 Post 2
“Now What Continued”? That terrible night we lost our family and returned home, our dear friends and neighbors, opened their home to us. I remember pulling into our driveway, getting out of the truck, walking up to the front door and freezing! I told my husband, Larry, that I could not go in the house! I couldn’t look at all their pictures I had hanging up on the walls! I couldn’t stand it! Connie, our neighbor, wrapped her arm around me as we walked across the road to their home. Her husband, Dave, stayed with Larry and he went in our house. He had to get our toiletry bags and...
Read MoreFirst Few months Post 3
My Personal Journal: First Few months Post # 3 July, 2015 When will this nightmare end God? Any minute my son and Shawna will come flying in the front door with Tylee and Blake in tow. Tylee will be dressed up just beautifully. She is such a girlie girl. She’ll come running up the stairs towards her Nana, and wrap her little arms around my neck as I bend down to give her a hug. Little Blake will be in his Daddy’s arms, cautiously looking around. He is looking for his Papa. There’s Shawna, Diaper bag slung across her shoulder. My...
Read More“WHY” Larry’s Story First Night Jan 27, 2017
“WHY” Larry’s Story Jan 2017 After getting through a restless night of sleep the first night, I got up feeling very confused and extremely sadden. Connie, our neighbor, offered me something eat, but I said” No Thanks”. I was nauseous at the thought of food and did not eat for three days. I just drank water and juices. After three days, I would nibble on food, but became nauseous. Sleep was so foreign. I only dozed off and on during the night. As I thought about this terrible tragedy, I...
Read MoreFirst Few Months Post 4
My Personal Journal: First Few Months Post# 4 I feel so weak from this great grieving. My emotions are wavering, vulnerable. I have no energy. Our families who flew out to be with us are flying back home, one-by-one. I am missing them already. They are a blessing to us. I’m not ready to see them go. They brought such comfort and a few giggles. The house is getting too quiet now. My twin is still here. Her husband, son and daughter-in-law have already left. I’m so thankful she is still with me. Larry thinks it may be a good idea if I fly...
Read MoreThe First Few Months.” Post 5
The First Few Months.” Post 5 Pain and grief. Such companions! They are my companions. Unwelcomed companions because of the reason they have become so. Life has continued around me. Time has become my enemy because it takes me farther and farther away from where I want to be! Where I desperately need to be! Which is, of course, the last time I saw my loved ones. I was told that times heals all wounds! I hated hearing that! It would never heal. A broken bone heals. A cut heals. A child’s “boo-boo” heals! A heart that has been smashed into tiny...
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