Three Year Anniversary.


This past Sunday was Father’s Day. I told my husband that I wish that I could just sleep through this time of year. We feel so melancholy. I glanced at the clock throughout the day and remembered very clearly the day our family died and what I was doing.

This Thursday, June 21st will be three years since they died. So, we will make the pilgrimage to the cemetery to remember our loved ones, let balloons sail high in the sky on their way to “heaven.” We’ll place flowers once again. And cry at the senselessness of it all.

My anguish will come when I walk away thinking that it will now start four years since I last saw Russell, Shawna, Tylee and Blake. Once again, my heart breaks into tiny pieces.

But God continues to heal. I crawl into His arms every day for comfort and peace. I will not listen to the devil’s lies. He is deceptive above all else. He would have me turn away from God in anger. Satan may whisper, “Where’s this abundant life Jesus talks about? This life that Jesus says is the reason He came? Didn’t Jesus say, “I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10 NKJ)

Can I begin to find in my suffering a source of joy? Nehemiah 8:11 says, “The joy of the Lord is your strength.” So, we see here that suffering, and putting our trust in God, knowing His joy is our strength will bring us comfort.

We humans have it backwards. We say, “Well, my strength comes from the joy I feel when I’m NOT suffering!”

However, our abundant life comes from trusting in God in the darkness. Jesus asks, “Will you walk with Me into the darkness? There is much you can learn in the darkness that you can’t in the light. Will you take My hand? Will you keep your eyes on Me?”

Psalm 16:11, “In Your presence is fullness of joy; At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.