I’ve written before about how I sometimes look back through the years and see how God has orchestrated my life. And because I believe that God does this for me I can see His hand is so many areas of my life and how even the seemingly insignificant times of my life have been for a purpose, leading up to this very day.
Through the years I have faced many trials and situations that at times I clung to Jesus and other times I got angry at Him. I remember when I got angry at God for not healing our daughter from seizures. Time after time I prayed and begged for her healing. At one point I got so angry at Him I threw my Bible across the room and told Him to leave me alone.
I got angry at him when my Dad suffered with cancer. Again, I prayed and prayed. He died anyway. I got very upset when the school I was working at a few years ago, let me go. For no apparent reason. A year or two after that the school closed its doors. I had already gotten another job at another school and loved working there as well.
Since the deaths of Russell, Shawna, Tylee and Blake God has given me many opportunities to speak of His goodness. I wrote an article about a year ago titled, “What’s the Difference? Lessons Learned” I wrote about the time I got angry at God and threw my Bible across the room and told Him to leave me alone. I compared it to the most tragic time of my life, the death of our family, and I ran to the loving arms of Jesus. You would think it would be the other way around!
What I discovered was that between the time I threw my Bible across the room and the time I ran to Him in my darkest hour, something had quietly changed in my walk with the Lord.
He had been preparing me. Stretching me as I walked through the sufferings and trials of life. He was helping me to learn to trust Him, no matter what. I stayed very close to the Lord during that time. Reading and studying the Bible. Praying and quietly spending time with Jesus. How He only wants the best for me. He is able and willing to turn ALL things around for our good and for His glory.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28 NIV
More on this in the next post…