My Journey:  Six to Twelve Months:                                                                   Post 1 

It’s November, 2015. Thanksgiving is just around the corner. That means Tylee’s birthday and Christmas isn’t too far behind. I’m dreading it! We all are. Lord, I just want to go to sleep and not wake up till it’s all over with. What do we do? I worry about our dear daughter, Rhonda. How she loves the holidays and the cooking and family coming. By family I mean Russell, Shawna, Tylee and Blake. Each year they would go between our home, Shawna’s Dad’s home, and Shawna’s Mom’s home. We had to share them. They usually managed to stop by even if it was the end of the day and they were heading home. Whoever was not too stuffed and wanted dessert would get a piece of pie.

This year no one would be sitting around our dining room table. No turkey would be made. No yummy desserts or Shawna’s special pumpkin dip. No Tylee helping Nana serve dessert. We just knew we couldn’t stay here. We decided to go to Moab for the holiday. Get a motel. Take our UTV and do some back-country trail rides.

I must admit that we were all so conscious about keeping each other’s spirits up that we found ourselves laughing and making fun of each other. I actually got some pictures of Rhonda and I laughing pretty hard. Then we decided to see if we could find a restaurant that was open on Thanksgiving. We did find one. A really nice place actually. Of course, they were serving Thanksgiving dinner with all the fixings and dessert was free!

The waiter took our orders and there we sat, trying desperately to keep the atmosphere light and happy. It didn’t last long. I glanced over at Rhonda. She was staring out the window and I saw a tear roll down her cheek. I reached over and placed my hand on hers. No words were needed. Our hearts were aching. I started talking about the fun day we had on the UTV and the pretty scenery we saw. I giggled about how Rhonda and her father had made fun of me as we drove over rocks and tipped to one side as I threw myself into Rhonda’s arms hoping that if we tipped over she could somehow save me. I asked her to let me sit in the middle.

Our dinner came and it looked so good. The plate was placed in front of me and I looked down at the turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, and burst into tears. Larry took my hand and he said the blessing. Once again, we steered the conversation back to what fun we had that day. We arrived at the restaurant early to beat the crowd. Families started coming and soon the tables were getting full. So much laughter, and children begging to sit by grandma or grandpa. Siblings excitedly trying to decide to have turkey or ham. We cautiously looked at each other doing our best to get our food down. We suddenly knew, without any words that we didn’t want to be there. It was too painful. We had our dessert and drove back to the motel. We turned the TV on. A good distraction. Football, now we can root for our team. We shouted at the interceptions, the fumbles, and when our quarterback got sacked. We are all yelling at the TV. Each of us yelling for our own private reasons.

The sun came up Friday morning. For once I’m glad time kept moving forward. Thanksgiving Day is over with. I did take a few quiet minutes to talk to God. I was able to thank Him for my daughter, my husband, being able to get away. I was thankful for the laughter we shared as a family. I was thankful Thanksgiving Day was over.