Six to Twelve Months: Post 1
My Journey: Six to Twelve Months: Post 1 It’s November, 2015. Thanksgiving is just around the corner. That means Tylee’s birthday and Christmas isn’t too far behind. I’m dreading it! We all are. Lord, I just want to go to sleep and not wake up till it’s all over with. What do we do? I worry about our dear daughter, Rhonda. How she loves the holidays and the cooking and family coming. By family I mean Russell, Shawna, Tylee and Blake. Each year they would go between our home, Shawna’s Dad’s home, and Shawna’s Mom’s home. We...
Read MoreFirst 3-6 Months Post #1
It’s August. What happened to July? I have been feeling frightened the last few days. I am fearful that a day will come when I won’t be able to remember their faces. I am constantly looking at their pictures. I want their images burned into my brain. I can’t forget! I remember when my parents passed away. Within the first year I couldn’t remember their faces, but it didn’t bother me too much. They were my parents! I loved them with all my heart. Their passing was a “natural order”. But this! I was supposed to have a future with my son and grandchildren. I was supposed to watch them grow up...
Read MoreFirst Few months Post 3
My Personal Journal: First Few months Post # 3 July, 2015 When will this nightmare end God? Any minute my son and Shawna will come flying in the front door with Tylee and Blake in tow. Tylee will be dressed up just beautifully. She is such a girlie girl. She’ll come running up the stairs towards her Nana, and wrap her little arms around my neck as I bend down to give her a hug. Little Blake will be in his Daddy’s arms, cautiously looking around. He is looking for his Papa. There’s Shawna, Diaper bag slung across her shoulder. My...
Read More“Beauty from Ashes” Post 1
“Beauty from Ashes” Post 1 August, 14, 2015 You are an awesome God! Wednesday morning, Hilda, my dear sister-in-law, and I did our devotions together. As usual, I wrote my thoughts and prayers in my journal and then shared them with her. We had been doing this together many mornings. When I shared them with Hilda today she said that since I had been sharing my journal entries during this terrible time, she was so touched by what I wrote. She said she felt that somehow I would reach out to others who are grieving, not only in my community, but in other states. She told me I had a...
Read MoreFirst Few Months Post 4
My Personal Journal: First Few Months Post# 4 I feel so weak from this great grieving. My emotions are wavering, vulnerable. I have no energy. Our families who flew out to be with us are flying back home, one-by-one. I am missing them already. They are a blessing to us. I’m not ready to see them go. They brought such comfort and a few giggles. The house is getting too quiet now. My twin is still here. Her husband, son and daughter-in-law have already left. I’m so thankful she is still with me. Larry thinks it may be a good idea if I fly...
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