“WHY” Larry’s Story Jan 2017
After getting through a restless night of sleep the first night, I got up feeling very confused and extremely sadden. Connie, our neighbor, offered me something eat, but I said” No Thanks”. I was nauseous at the thought of food and did not eat for three days. I just drank water and juices. After three days, I would nibble on food, but became nauseous. Sleep was so foreign. I only dozed off and on during the night. As I thought about this terrible tragedy, I wondered why I didn’t see it coming. Perhaps I could have prevented losing my son, daughter-In-Law and grandchildren. I must say here that Russell was always a better father than I ever was. He was so involved with the children. He would sleep outside on the trampoline with Tylee so they could simply look at the moon and stars.
For days and weeks after that terrible night my mind was numb and confused. I believe God kept me in this state, because the tragedy was too big and horrifying to grasp what had happened. It was so bad the first several weeks I had to get a small notebook to write everything down. Even with the notebook I stayed in a fog of confusion, relying on my friends to help me keep things straight regarding the many aspects of planning the funeral. Many times, even after writing it down. I kept asking family, who were flying out to Utah, their flight information because I had written it down incorrectly. I couldn’t keep it straight!
My three closest friends, Mark, Dave and Steve, did hundreds of things for us to lessen the enormous pressure of planning a funeral for four family members. I felt like the world was on my shoulders! As family arrived to support us, I was able to stay strong to support them. But, in reality, it was God’s strength that kept me going every slow and painful moment that first week.
Bruce, Shawna’s Dad and Laura, his wife, were very loving and kind to us during this time. This continues still, to this day. In my heart, I felt so responsible for what my son, Russell, had done. They never made Joanne and I feel guilty. However, even now, a year and half later, I still feel guilty and responsible.
Shawna’s Mom, Sheila, seemed a little distant to us, but never treated Joanne or I badly. Under the circumstances, she was incredibly kind. Even though she lives in the state of Washington, she stays in touch.
Joanne and I truly believe God’s hand was on this whole situation. It could have turned so very ugly and hateful. But on the contrary, it was very peaceful under the most horrific circumstances of our lives. Even now, God’s peace has shown through, almost two years later.